[post-canon] outside a war is waging

[notahawkingbird]

tell me everything that happened,
tell me everything you saw.
did you see the closing window,
did you hear the slamming door?

they had lights inside their eyes
they moved forward and my heart died
please, please tell me what they looked like,
did they seem afraid of you?

they were kids that I once knew.

( in the aftermath of cassie and jonas' deaths, and nate's flight back into the timestream, the young avengers have disbanded.
   but life goes on and the only thing anyone can do is cope. )


xxx

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[notahawkingbird]

[ It feels like they're strangers and it's nagging at Kate because this is Tommy. He helped her break into Avengers Secret HQ to get her bow back when Clint Barton had confiscated it after she'd lost a bet that he could do a Robin Hood. Who flirted unceasingly and made her laugh and feel like every moment was the high of an adrenaline rush. This is Tommy and this shouldn't be awkward at all.

But it is, because it's like they're two dance partners out of step and it's as frustrating as hell because the truth is, Kate is exhausted. She just wants to reach out and curl up with a friend and maybe cry out the rest of all the anger she feels over how by doing what she felt was the right thing, everything's just gone all wrong.

And then he brings up Eli.

And the papers she'd picked up from the floor are somehow scattered on the parquet all over again and Kate doesn't know if she has it in her to gather them all up again. ]

Why would you ask th... [ Her voice is barely above a whisper. ] The last time I spoke to Eli was when we met at the pier.

[crotcharrow]

[Tommy's stomach lurches when the pages fall to the floor. This is why they were dancing around each other. It had been too long. They had no idea what the other has been through, and they weren't sure where to exactly start. And then she starts to talk, and Tommy's face falls. He'd never been Eli's biggest fan, but he would have thought that he would have been there for Kate. Out of all of them, Eli was supposed to be there for Kate. And apparently, he wasn't.

Tommy has no idea what to say. He's been struggling to come to terms with everything, but. He'd at least had Teddy. Even if the support had mostly just been shouting matches and stifling emotions. And Kate had been here all on her own, trying to get over the death of her best friend and now apparently, the abandonment of her... was Eli ever her lover?

Tommy sure did feel like a jerk.

He glances down at the papers and then back up at Kate, frowning at her.]

...Shit. Kate, I didn't know. [he takes a step forward.] I thought he'd... Oy.

[and then without waiting for her to do anything he wraps his arms around her waist and tugs her close, protectively.] Fuck, I'm so sorry, Kate.

[notahawkingbird]

[ That whole metaphor about tears breaking through like a dam? Totally spot on.

The first sob wrenches it's way out of her like something frantically scrabbling towards the sun. Her arms come up as Tommy steps close, her fingers curling along the curve of his shoulders to just hold on.

It's not that she wasn't used to duking things out alone. She'd learned a long, long time ago that a great many things in life you had to deal with like a pilot flying solo. People came and went. Sometimes they stood by you, walked arm-in-arm with you, but only for so long before they left for good or stepped back because there was only so much that could be asked of people.

Whatever battles you had, those, Kate had learned, you fought on your own.

And then came the Young Avengers crashing into her life teaching her that maybe, just maybe... alone didn't have to be the first and only choice. ]

I couldn't-- [ she hiccups and falls silent, the muscles along her shoulders tensing, her arms tightening around Tommy as if to ask: please, don't let go, just let me hold on a little longer. There are so many things. So many regrets, so many words left unsaid. But suddenly, miraculously, here was that one feeling seeping through as she finally let herself take comfort from another.

This is home. She thought. Right here. Just like this.

She'd been so afraid that she wouldn't be allowed that much. And it feels so good to be proven wrong. ]

[crotcharrow]

[Tommy has never been one to know how to deal with extremes of emotions. He's never had anyone there to teach him what to do, or how to deal with his own emotions, let alone other peoples. Being with the Young Avengers had helped him somewhat, but still, seeing Kate like this--strong, amazing Kate--had him frozen to the spot. All he can do is hold on and let her cry out as much as she needs, his grip tightening around her when she starts to speak again.

What could he say? It'll be okay? Don't worry? Hardly. Eli had left, Cassie and Vision were dead and they were torn into fragments of the people they once were. Billy never spoke a word and Teddy was practically wasting away trying to get Billy to react to something, anything. And Tommy was stuck in the middle of it, not sure what to do, having lost the only family he ever really had. God, he wants to just change everything back, make it how it used to be, them all messing around, sneaking into the Avengers mansion, beating up bad guys. This was almost unbearable.

Tommy leans his head against Kate, his grip tightening and pulling her close. He did nothing to stop her tears but hold her firmly, letting her know that he was here and it was okay with his body movements alone. The itch of being confined for too long was starting to take hold, telling him to let go to losen up, but he ignored it and swallowed thickly, one of his hands lifting to the back of Kate's neck, his eyes stinging a little suddenly an unexpectedly. She had felt like this for so long, and he hadn't bothered to check up on her.]

I'm so sorry.